“Knowing your value protects you from having to prove it.”
You bought this book for a reason and we imagine that you have had enough!
- Are you tired of living a limited life?
- Do you spend a lot of time wishing for a more productive lifestyle but keep doing the same things, and keep getting the same results?
- Have you given up dreaming about how your life might be broader, deeper, more exciting, and more meaningful?
- Has the way that life turned out for you fallen short of those dreams of yesterday?
- Are you cast in stone in the daily routines that you don’t even give a thought to what might possibly be “different” for you?
If you find yourself in these categories, or your own unsatisfactory category you can still look forward to a more satisfying life but you can’t have it as a free gift. There is work to do on you. No one can do it for you, but you will have the tools at the end of the book.
It has been known for years that the average human being is operating at about 10-20% of their inborn capacity. This condition is generally accepted as “normal” because it is the common standard that we find around us. Once we see that we are like our friends, coworkers, and associates, most of us stop striving to be and do more. We become a “typical” adult and we think that is about all we have a right to expect.
Each day seems to present such a full array of issues and problems for us to deal with that little time or energy is left over for visioning what else might be possible. As it is, we feel that if we can arrive at the evening of each day, having survived the day and having maintained our status quo without slipping backward, we feel life is going as well as can be expected.
The clear majority of people live out their lives in the “quiet desperation” that Thoreau wrote about. Initially, they continue to hope and to dream of other horizons but as the years grind by they do not get out of the self-imposed ruts, rather they begin to resign themselves to what they are experiencing. At that point, most people’s lives resemble “salvage operations” not daring to try to advance and grow but rather desperately trying to keep the status quo from eroding.
Despite this being the prevailing state of affairs for centuries of human existence, there have been isolated, yet prominent thinkers who have discovered paths to greater personal performance and have tried to lead us toward something loftier, something more satisfying, more expansive for ourselves. They have tried to teach us that if we would surrender our current limiting beliefs, dare to dream of greater goals and act with faith in those dreams, we can escape the prisons of our minds and soar into a future of unbelievable relationships, accomplishments, and contributions.
Surrounding our old established ways is not that easy, however. We will have to look deeply at our current “anchoring” beliefs that are holding us back. We must be willing to take the time to sort through our subconscious mind where those beliefs are stored out of our conscious awareness. We need to plunge into that unfamiliar territory with only our faith in the process to sustain us. It means taking psychological and emotional risks that initially will emphasize our sense of vulnerability and open us to the prospect of more failure. As we make repeated incursions into our murky subconscious we will eventually establish a new comfort zone and take joy in the remodeling of our active thinking processes.
Presently, in attempting to avoid all these imagined painful outcomes we do not even try to leave today’s comfort zone. By remaining there we lock ourselves into the present reality and set up filters that prevent us from seeing the possibility of new futures for ourselves.
We go a step further and tell ourselves that our current reality is all we can do, all that we deserve and then we begin a review of our past “sins” and transgressions to justify our feelings that we are undeserving of success and prosperity.
We are living lives dictated by fear, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear that if we leave the current situations and people in our lives, we will have to face the future alone. We are afraid that our attempts to change might end in failure and then our friends and relatives would laugh and ridicule us. They would tell us that we should have known better than we are getting what we deserve. We could become rejects and outcasts if we try something new and it flops.
This is how and why we stay stuck in our current reality. To have anything change in our lives, we must be willing to look at things differently and to design challenging goals that are consistent with our desired new outlook. We must then begin to act in ways that are different than our present behavior to reach those newly chosen dreams and goals. “It is impossible to resolve any problem from within the mindset that caused it.” This suggests that if we want an altered reality, we must be willing to exit our comfort zone, design life as we would like to see it and then take the necessary steps to transform our blueprint into reality.
We need to see that our belief system (acquired from our early-life programming) is merely a collection of thoughts, ideas, and folklore that our parents, caregivers and other mentors once taught us. They could only give us what they themselves knew. Within our parents “knowledge base” were misrepresentations, distortions, and restrictive rules (from their parents). Through the process of programming us, they have essentially transplanted those parental beliefs, attitudes, and paradigms into our own belief system. This accumulation of inherited thoughts and assumptions that we have labeled “truth” may constantly be keeping us back. When it becomes apparent that those beliefs are acting to limit our lives, it is imperative that we route them out and replay them with more expansive thoughts going beyond the current self-adopted constraints on our behavior.
If your today is like yesterday and your tomorrow is like today and it is not playing out how you would like, read further and change your tomorrows.
The above is a chapter from my book. WHY ARENT YOU LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT Lou Cator
email Lou Cator at firstname.lastname@example.org